Love Language 1: Words of AffirmationThis language uses words to affirm the other person. "Thanks for taking out the garbage. You are the greatest." "You look nice in the outfit." "Your smile is contagious. Did you see the way everyone seemed to brighten up when you came into the room?" All of these are words of affirmation. Yours words may focus on the other person's personality or the way they look or something they have done for you or for others. To speak this language, you look for things you admire or appreciate about the person and you verbally express your admiration.
If a person's primary love language is words of affirmation, nothing will speak more deeply of your love than words of affirmation.
Love Language 2: Acts of Service
For these people, actions speak louder than words. If you speak words of affirmation to this person such as "I admire you, I love you", they will likely think and perhaps say, "If you love me, why don't you do something to help me around the house?"
If acts of service is their primary love language, then washing the car, mowing the grass, helping around the house, and changing the baby's diaper is precisely what makes them feel loved. The key to loving this person is to find out what things they would like for you to do. Then do them consistently.
Love Language 3: Receiving Gifts
For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. The best gifts are those that you know will be appreciated. To give her a fishing rod when she doesn't enjoy fishing will probably not communicate your love very well. How do you find out what the other person would like to receive? You ask questions and you make observations. You observe the comments they make when they receive gifts from other family members. Listen carefully and you will discover the kind of gifts they appreciate most. Also listen to the comments they make when they are looking through a shopping catalog.
A rose, a candy bar, a card, a book - any of these can communicate love deeply to the person whose love language is receiving gifts.
Love Language 4: Quality Time
Quality time is giving the other person your undivided attention. It is not sitting in the same room watching television. It is being in the same room with the TV off, the magazine on the table, looking at each other, talking and listening. It may also be taking a walk together so long as your purpose is to be with each other, not simply to get exercise. Couples who go to a restaurant and never talk to each other have not spoken the language of quality time. They have simply met their physical need for food. Quality time says, "I'm doing this because I want to be with you." Whether you are planting a garden together or going on a camping trip, the ultimate purpose is to spend time with each other. For some people, nothing makes them feel more loved than quality time.
Love Language 5: Physical Touch
Research indicates that babies who are touched and cuddled fare better emotionally than babies who spend long periods of time without physical touch. Every culture has appropriate and inappropriate touches between members of the opposite of sex. Appropriate touch is loving. Inappropriate touch is demeaning. To the person whose primary love language is physical touch, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
